Really? You Thought That Was A Good Idea?

Social media has obviously made the world a much smaller place. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, I have the extreme displeasure of knowing what all of my "friends" are doing and thinking all of the effing time. That's great. I don't care. Now while I realize I have the ability to "defriend" you, (thank you Facebook for creating a new term) please do the world a favor and think about stuff before you post it to the never ending internet.

That's right boys a girl, what you put online is there to stay. SURPRISE!!! Shocking I know! Here's a simple question to ask yourself before posting something: would I want my mother to see this? Now if the answer is no, don't post it. If you're not sure, show it to your mother. If you don't know who/where your mother is, well then the negative impact of social media is the last thing you should be worried about.

Recently I noticed where one of my "friends," oh hell let's just be honest...someone I don't talk to, EVER, but I think it is rude to defriend them, posted a picture to their Facebook that I would NEVER post or even partake in the activity being photographed. A photo so idiotic that it made me defriend them and then block them from ever being able to request my Facebook friendship ever again. The sad thing is that this person is a mother. Yup, she has 3 children...awesome parenting there my dear! Forget explaining that to current or future employers, how to do you explain to your kids what Mommy was thinking. Really, you thought that was a good idea?!

I really wish people would think more! Just think! Even if you think through something and still come up with the wrong answer/explanation/solution...just THINK! USE YOUR BRAIN! I know it's in there somewhere! Buried deep down in the depths of your skull there has to be a brain, there just has to be!

That's my rant for the day. If you disagree with me, well quite frankly I don't care.

Hearts, Candy, Chocolates...OH MY! Valentine's Day,Ugh!

Valentine's Day, ahhh yes! That magical time of year that comes around every February.  It is that special day where guys go out and mindlessly buy chocolates, roses, and make dinner reservations at a restaurant you would never otherwise go to. Because nothing says "I love you" like celebrating your love for each other with your significant other doing things that are just sooo special that they can't be done the other 364 days out of the year.

So, you got roses for the special day? Awww how sweet and original! I bet that took what, all of 30 seconds to think of. Yup, you're a lucky girl. He really loves you! So much that he paid someone to do all the work involved with your gift for this special day. Hey, why get you something that you can use and that will last when you can have beautiful flowers that you can watch slowly die. Nothing says romance like the sweet stinch of  almost dead roses.

According to every commercial I've seen in the past week I should be drooling over the idea that I'll get something shiny and new wrapped in a velvet box for Valentines's Day.  Well no thank you! Maybe I'm just too practical or way too cheap but I'd rather have something I can actually use.  This year I got my Valentine sheets. Why? Simple, because he needed sheets. There is nothing romantic or sweet about sheets, at all. But I got him sheets because he needed them. And in return I got a My K-Cup for my Keurig, because that's what I wanted! No large amount of money spent, no useless crap gift that I'll put on a shelf and forget about six months from now.  Just something small and thoughtful.

The problem with Valentine's Day is that most women have a completely unrealistic expectation for this stupid holiday. Like most girls, I've had some great Valentine's Days and I've had some really shitty ones and for that I partly blame the men in my at the time but I also blame the stupid fairy tail forced down our throats by romantic comedies.

This year I encourage everyone to watch at least one of the following movies with their significant other:

Why, you ask? Simple, because they don't really have happy endings. They are movies about people in relationships and what happens when those relationships don't work out.  Sometimes it isn't about finding your one true love, or soul mate, or even the person you might be able to stand for the rest of your life if you plan on settling but it's about having fun and being happy; even if that happiness is only for a short time.  

I'm Sorry, Could You Please Spell That?

At least once a month for the past year I've seen someone announce their pregnancy on Facebook.  While I have no desire to have children in the near or fairly distant future, I admire anyone who can bring a child into this world and raise it without completely screwing it up.  Since the only child I have has four legs, I realize I am in no way qualified to give parenting advice but I must make one plea to all mothers-to-be: please, for the love of God do not give your child a ridiculous name that people can neither pronounce nor spell!!!!

I don't pay much attention to random pop culture news but I did notice this morning where the Today Show reported that Beyonce' and Jay-Z welcomed their first child, a baby girl. A baby girl who will without a doubt lead a very lovely, over privileged life and enjoy all of the opportunities that the world has to offer.  But NO amount of money will change the fact that those two named their child Blue Ivy. Her name is a color, and not a creative one! Just because you like a color and a number does not make it OK to make that your child's legal name! And it's not just those two. People with far less wealth give their children horrible names every  day. If it isn't in a book or the name of someone else in your family, perhaps you should reconsider what you're about to name your child! And if you give your child a fairly normal name, please spell it correctly!  I cannot tell you all how many times I've had someone in my office with what appeared to be a perfectly normal name until their parents screwed up the spelling in a poor attempt to be more creative or unique. Oh, and don't name your kid after an adjective! Like Precious or Sincere (yes, I'm being totally serious). Also months, fruits, vegetables, sports cars, animal breeds, and countries are also off limits! If I meet one more 20 something named December, I'll scratch my eyes out. And what in the world were Gwyneth Platrow and Chris Martin thinking when they named their daughter Apple?! Seriously?! Do you know what I think of when I hear the world apple? First I think of electronics, then granny smith, then peanut putter, and how an apple a day keeps the doctor away. If we were to play a word association game right now and you said apple, I can guarantee you I would not respond with "oh, what a cute name for a little girl to be stuck with for her entire life."

Now if you're from a different country and in that country your name makes total sense then fine! By all means, have at it buddy! But there is never a reason to name your child after a well known university (yeah, I met someone who I can only assume was named after a school a few weeks ago) or name a your child after you and not make him the second or third. I met a man two days ago who was a junior and he named his son after him but his son wasn't the third. Confused yet? Because I sure as hell was. The dad was JR and the son was named after who I can only assume was his grandfather, which means that he and his grandfather have the exact same name. Good luck with that one buddy.

Now not all non-traditional names are bad. That isn't what I'm saying at all. All of my grandparents have/had some of the most common names you can think of  which could be why both of my parents have less than common names but they fit their personalities and they aren't crazy names with insane spellings. Here's a good test, before you name your child "Star" think about how that would look on a name plate 30 years from now sitting on a desk. If it would look better on a name tag on a McDonald's shirt, you should probably reconsider your other top three choices. And if you do reconsider and land on a normal name, just stick to the regular spelling! Please! Until about a year ago, I had no idea you could spell Melissa more than one way. Whenever someone asks me how to spell my first name I just assume they can't read. To the best of my knowledge, there is only one way to correctly spell my name.

All I'm saying is, if you're on the fence about coming up with a name for your unborn child ask yourself a few questions before making any final decisions:
1. If I were 7, would I make fun of a kid with this name?
2. Would I want that to be my name when I'm 75?
3. If I type it in Microsoft Word, does it appear with a red squiggly line under it?

If you answered yes, no, and yes to those questions dust off the baby name book and give it another chance. If not for your child then please, do it for the rest of us who will be forced to say "I'm sorry, could you please spell that?" anytime we're forced to interact with your offspring.